Dear parent…
I want to talk to you today — not as an expert standing at a podium, and not as someone with all the answers. I want to talk to you the way one caring adult talks to another when something really matters.
Because what I’m about to share with you? It matters deeply.
Your child is somewhere between five and ten years old right now. They’re curious. They’re social. They’re starting to spend more time with friends, more time at school, more time in spaces where you can’t always see them. And that’s beautiful — that’s growing up. But it also means this is exactly the right moment to have a conversation most parents keep putting off.
Not because it’s easy. But because the world doesn’t wait until you’re ready.
So today, I want to tell you about four games — games that might look innocent on the surface, games that children play without knowing the danger — and I want to help you talk about them with your child before someone else introduces them first.
Game One: Pretending to Sleep Outside
You’ve probably seen it. Kids lying on the grass, closing their eyes, pretending to nap — maybe as part of a game, maybe on a dare, maybe just because a friend thought it was funny.
Here’s what your child doesn’t yet understand: when their eyes are closed and their body is still, they look completely unprotected. And in public spaces, that matters.
The American SPCC reminds us that young children are not developmentally equipped to recognize unsafe situations. They trust the world the way children are supposed to — openly, freely, without suspicion. That’s not a flaw. That’s childhood. But it means the job of recognizing danger belongs to us, the adults — and when a child is pretending to be asleep outside, there’s no adult eye on them, and they can’t protect themselves.
Tell your child this, gently: “Sleeping is something we do at home, or at school during rest time — places where someone who loves you is always nearby. Outside, we stay awake and aware. That’s not fear. That’s wisdom.”
Game Two: The Touching Game
This one is harder to say out loud. But saying it is exactly what protects your child.
Research from Rady Children’s Hospital tells us that one in three girls and one in twenty boys will experience some form of unwanted sexual contact before they turn eighteen. One in three. And the painful truth is — most of those children never told anyone, because no one had ever given them the words or the permission to speak.
The “Touching Game” is the name I give to the moment someone — a peer, an older child, or an adult — makes touching feel like play. Like a secret. Like something normal.
Your child needs to hear, clearly and calmly, from you: “No one should touch the parts of your body that your swimsuit or underwear covers. Not a friend, not an older kid, not a grownup. The only people who can help you wash or get dressed are Mom and Dad — and even then, we respect your body.”
The YMCA’s body safety framework calls this teaching body autonomy — and children who understand it are statistically more likely to speak up if something ever happens. They’re more likely to come to you. Because you made it safe to.
You don’t need to frighten them. You just need to name it. Because children can only protect what they’ve been taught to name.
Game Three: The Bravery Challenge
Picture this — and maybe you’ve already seen a version of it.
A group of kids standing near a wall, a fence, a staircase. One child turns to another and says: “I dare you. Climb up there and jump. Do it if you’re brave.”
And the child — your child — feels something shift inside them. Because they want to belong. Because they don’t want to be called scared. Because at seven or eight or nine years old, the opinion of your peers can feel like the most important thing in the world.
A peer-reviewed study published in the American Journal of Public Health followed over 700 children between grades five and eight and found that nearly half of all peer dares put children at risk for physical injury. Half. And the pressure only grows stronger as children get older and more socially aware.
Here’s what I want you to teach your child — not as a rule, but as a truth they can carry:
“Being brave doesn’t mean doing something dangerous to prove yourself to someone else. Real bravery is saying no when everyone around you is saying yes. Real bravery is walking away.”
There’s a real-world story that circulates in child safety circles — a nine-year-old boy who broke his arm jumping from a playground structure on a dare. When asked why he did it, he said, “I didn’t want them to think I was a baby.” He was in a cast for six weeks. The friends who dared him had forgotten about it by the following Monday.
Let your child know: their worth is not measured by what they’re willing to risk for someone else’s approval. Ever.
Game Four: The Secret Game
And now we get to the one that child protection experts say is the most dangerous of all.
It starts with a whisper. Someone — an adult, an older child, even a peer — leans close and says: “Don’t tell your parents about this, okay? It’s our secret.”
And just like that, a wall goes up between your child and you.
The Center for Child Protection identifies secret-keeping as one of the most recognizable early signs of grooming. Psychology Today’s research on child abuse prevention is equally clear: asking a child to keep a secret from their parents is not innocent. It is a documented manipulation tactic used to isolate children from their primary source of safety — which is you.
Not every secret is sinister, of course. Surprise birthday parties are secrets. A gift wrapped in a closet is a secret. But your child needs to understand the difference between a *surprise* — which has an end date, which makes someone happy, which everyone will know about soon — and a secret that makes them feel uneasy, confused, or afraid to tell you.
Tell them this: “In our family, we don’t keep secrets from each other. If anyone — anyone at all — asks you to keep something secret from Mom or Dad, that’s the moment you come straight to me. You will never be in trouble for telling me. Never.”
And then — this part is just as important — when they do come to you, stop what you’re doing. Put down your phone. Look them in the eye. Listen like what they’re saying is the most important thing you’ll hear all day.
Because it might be.
And Now back to You, Parent.
I want to speak to you now — not your child, just you.
Conversations like these can feel heavy. You might worry that talking about danger will steal your child’s innocence, or that naming these things will plant fear where there was none before. I understand that fear. It comes from love.
But here’s what the research — and honestly, just life — teaches us: children are not protected by silence. They are protected by knowledge, by trust, and by knowing that no matter what happens, you are a safe place to land.
You don’t have to deliver all four of these lessons in one sitting. You don’t have to be perfect or have the exact right words. You just have to start. On a car ride. At dinner. Before bed. One conversation at a time.
The goal isn’t to raise a fearful child. The goal is to raise a child who knows their own worth, trusts their own instincts, and knows — without a single doubt — that they can always, always come to you.
So, dear parent — share this with your children. Not in a way that frightens them, but in a way that empowers them.
Tell them that pretending to sleep outside isn’t safe, because they deserve to be watched over. Tell them their body belongs to them, and only them. Tell them that real courage looks like saying no. And tell them — say it clearly, say it often — that there are no secrets in your family that are more important than their safety.
Because nothing — nothing in this world — is more precious than a child who feels safe, seen, and unconditionally loved.
If this video spoke to your heart, please share it with another parent. You might not know whose child it protects.
Take care of yourself, and take care of those little ones.
I’ll see you in the next one.
