So, duh…of course after I got rid of a bunch of Mia’s size 2T stuff from last year, I made her try on a few dresses I saved and realized OMG this totally will still fit her this year. All of her dresses are Janie & Jack- from last season, on clearance- and are ALL size 3t, save for this one and a couple more. FAIL. The 3T doesnt fit her- not even a little. Super bummed about that….
And I realize these are first world problems.
I am wearing some LOFT capri pants (Modern Crop..best cut ever!) that I had to buy in a size larger. Last year I was one size smaller. I met a guy, made him my man friend and now Im happy. Being happy makes me bloat. Top is J.Crew’s vintage cotton cap-sleeve tshirt and I LOVE IT. Necklace is Anthropologie.
Ok, moving on…A few things have happened over Twitter in the last few days. I got a little fed up with the whole breastfeeding thing on the cover of Time magazine (i didnt read the article….you know me, i just look at the pictures)…i know this isnt popular, but THAT GROSSED ME OUT. I think its great to BF. Ok? I mean, I didnt really do it, but thats another story. But, like yeah- BF your BABY. Anything after age 1, though, to me, is out of my comfort zone.
But Im not going to protest about it in the street because like Ive said MANY times before (about a number of stupid things we moms fight about….)- I dont care if YOU do it. Im still going to be friends with you. I might roll my eyes a little, but Im not really a passionate person by nature…in the sense that I’ll feel the need to debate about something like this. Cause, honestly, I dont care that my BFF nursed her son after age 2. I made fun of her (lightly, mostly just to hear myself talk probably)…but she just kept on going and told me to shut up or she would squirt me with milk.
And maybe grossed out isnt accurate. I think what I mean is that it WEIRDS me out. Like, youre at Starbucks and you pull out a boob to nurse your TODDLER…well at that stage you are past the “hooter hider” nursing cover, and you just do it. Like BAM. HERES MY BOOB. My issue: I DONT KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. Theres a boob and a nipple looking right at me, with a big flashing sign that says DONT LOOK AT ME!!!! But i HAVE to look. How can i not look at boobs displayed in public. AmIright??? So i get uncomfortable and I cant look you in the eye because you’re looking at me, AND SO IS YOUR BOOB. And there is a tiny human sucking it and looking at me, too.
Can we keep talking about this for a minute? And can we all get past the whole “Breast is Best” thing? I completely agree. Nursing didnt work out for me, but I think its awesome and Im glad you are all doing it. Gold Star. The shiny kind. So now that we are over that….
It still weirds me out big time. The Time mag thing was SUPER WEIRD to me and Im SORRY IM NOT SORRY!
I actually asked a group of moms Im in a little mommy group with, and 8/11 agreed with me, but said they would NEVER admit to it, especially on their blog (if they had one…)! I know I am not alone. I also know I have some great girlfriends that nurse beyond what I would ever even consider, and thats cool. And some of them are reading this and simultaneously unfriending me from their LifeBook (you know- what we all did before Facebook….actually saw and talked to our friends in person…?), and thats ok, too.
Actually, no, none of them would do that because they know I am harmless beyond an eye roll and a quip about how they are going to be nursing their babies in line at the bar.
This is a subject that lots of moms are passionate about, and it totally makes us take sides. I am ALL for nursing. I am. I promise! I just wanted to put it out there that it makes me feel weird when you do it in public to your preschooler. I had to say it somewhere!!
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A bunch is going on here. First, I sort of took a small little side job. Or project. Or maybe it IS a job. I don’t know- either way, it’s from home and it involves helping to edit a very popular website. YUM. I forgot how much I liked doing stuff. Ok, second- someone in my immediate family has a very scary major health issue and I’ll most likely be traveling to Alabama in the near future (like within the next week or so) to check in with everyone. So that’s on my mind. Then there was that awful loser chiropractor.
Then there was the Groupon I bought for Bikram Yoga. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Mia and I go to the library whenever we have nothing else going on. Here she is at their storytime, being the cutest baby toddler ever. Don’t judge me for that obnoxious statement- if you dont think that about your own child then you have issues. Just sayin’…
Here’s my favorite nail color of the moment- Sonia Kashuk’s Tango Mango, courtesy of Target. Thanks! Doing a giveaway of some great Sonia Kashuk stuff soon!
I have a very small side yard that used to be covered with real grass, but about 10 minutes after we had it put it, it died. It was there for like 5 months before it died. And I even have irrigation built in! Since I have a sandbox, a water table and a picnic table over there, my options were limited when it came to landscaping. I could either a) add more real grass ($900) or b) get synthetic grass installed (very popular in Vegas, and about $1100). UM. Yeah. That’s a lot of money for a yard that nobody sees and is only used for kiddie toys. So, I punted and went to Lowes. I purchased 2 $18 pieces of grass carpet and bolted it down myself. It looks like shit and I DO NOT CARE.
Ok what else….
Oh! Got these cute little coasters at Pier One for $3.50 each, along with a white ceramic bird (I’ve jumped on the white ceramic bird bandwagon about 3 years too late…) reed diffuser for $14.99. The scent is Polynesian Gardenia and it is magical.
What else is on my black leather ottoman coffee table? A wood tray that I had refinished in white high gloss shine, and some books- a few Beatles coffee table books, some Shutterfly family albums and a wonderful Disneyland flip book that we picked up when we were there in March. Not sure what the flowers are, but they are what’s left of the very large, very beautiful display that FTD delivered to my house a couple weeks ago.
Notice the cushion missing a cover. Everything on this sofa can be removed and washed- even the cover over the base. Since I wash the damn cushion covers at least once a week (or some portion of them), and since I don’t feel like my living room is comfortable for Mia or guests since I freak out every time someone sits down (because it’s WHITE), I’ve decided to get it reupholstered. I have a friend that is going to do it for me for almost nothing, but I’ll have to buy the fabric. I know a guy in fabric, so I’ll get a HUGE discount. This is going to be about 1/8 of the price of buying a new sofa, and there is nothing wrong with what I have other than the color. Why get rid of something perfectly functional?
Help me with a color! I’m thinking charcoal gray with the same throw pillows that I have scattered on those armless chairs. Right? No?
And finally- Bikram Yoga.
I bought the Groupon and really wanted to try it based solely on the fact that my FitBit said I would burn approx. 900 calories from the one hour class. SOLD. If I did that every day for a week I would be at my goal weight. Right? I could handle it.
Ummmm no the hell I could NOT handle it. Nevermind the humid hot room with no fans. Nevermind the stench. Nevermind the old dude next to me whose ball sweat was flinging on me everytime he changed positions. Still not sure why he felt it was a good idea to wear a speedo to hot yoga. At his age. No, the real kick-you-in-the-nuts part of this bull shizz class was the instructor lady. No judgment but she had a spare tire. Uhhh aren’t you supposed to be all trim and flat if you do hot yoga and teach the class? No judgement. It was really her headset I had a problem with. I introduced myself and said it was my first class and mentioned that I have mild asthma. I said I would do my best, but that I would need to step out if it was too intense. She didnt like that AT ALL, but told me to be discreet if I needed to leave.
Fast forward 45 minutes. I was covered in my own sweat, the ball sweat from next door and was literally blacking out just sitting there. As soon as they changed positions, and after i determined that I had had enough, I quietly and discreetly gathered my things and tried to leave. Headset fatty called me out in front of EVERYONE. Like, made a big deal, told me I was disrupting class and made this huge scene with her questions.
“where are you going?” “why???!!!” “no, you knew it was 90 minutes. go sit down!”
She could have just ignored me. I mean that was what disrupted the class- not the first timer that was growing more unconscious by the second. I just kept saying “I’m so sorry, I just can’t handle it.” Then I finally said “I’m sorry, my daughter needs to be picked up,” when she asked why I couldn’t wait another 45 minutes. It was a lie, but people with kids usually know that the universal code for “I gotta split, don’t ask…” is “blah blah blah MY KID blah blah.”
Bitch ain’t got no kids I guess.
So finally I said “sorry, I won’t come back,” and bolted out of there. I ran to my car and CRIED. I cried in my car. ME. To say that I was humiliated would be an understatement. I called my best friend for support and she was like “ummmmm why would you even go to hot yoga in the first place? That was your first mistake!” She’s right.
After I calmed down, I spoke to my man friend. He was actually the first person I texted after I left class, but he works at a real job and can’t always stop what he’s doing to entertain my daily going-ons. LOL He immediately called me back and said ARE YOU OK??!! because he KNOWS that I don’t cry, much less in public.
The conclusion- he said to stay away from Crunchy. He’s right. The chiropractor. The Bikram yoga. Not for me. At all!! You know I do love my hippie girlfriends, but i am drawing the line here.
That was my week. How was yours?
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OMG.
NO SERIOUSLY OMG.
I went to a chiropractor. Against my better judgement. And OMG. I still can’t belive WTF just went down. I thought I was on Candid Freaking Camera. No joke.
So, I have been having this weird, hard to place, back and neck pain ever since Mia was born. It starts in the exact spot where I had my epidural (although, this could be a coincidence), and travels up my neck and down my left arm. I am CONSTANTLY stretching out my neck by touching my chin to my chest, then rolling my left shoulder. I know via Dr. Google that it’s probably caused by the hormone “relaxin” that we produce when we’re pregnant. It’s the same piece of crap that makes our feet bigger. Not a fan.
After discussing this really dumb (but very real..) issue with several of my friends, a few of them suggested that I try a chiropractor. They were like “look, I know you don’t go for that kind of thing, but just try it.” They said that, if anything, it might give me a temporary relief to get adjusted.
First of all, WTF does it mean to “get adjusted”? Was I going to have to go face down on a table while some asshole popped my joints and cracked my back? That doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend $99 (for your first visit, not covered by insurance AT ALL…). My man friend recently had an issue with a slipped disk in his back and was also referred to a Chiropractor, but decided against it at the last-minute since he thinks they are just a little bit on the crunchy side. And let me be clear: I DO NOT BUY INTO CRUNCHY.
I am a child vaccinating, epidural having, Tylenol downing SUPERB mother and I will be having all of my babies in a hospital. I dont care if you dont do that. I really dont. And why do you care if I do? WHO CARES. Move on.
I kept an open mind though, and decided to go for it. My appointment was this morning at 10:30, and I expected to be out of there within 45 minutes. The plan was for him to do some x-rays, then give me an adjustment based on what the x-rays showed. Simple enough. Except THAT SHIT NEVER HAPPENED.
Here’s what did happen: Continue reading »
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This is Mia at the grab-nabber thing as we were leaving Wal-Mart. Notice the chocolate milk all over her shirt.
I really try to avoid Target and Walmart with her because she wants literally everything she sees. “MOMMY IT’S TINKERBELL!” “MOMMYYYYYY ITS DORA! SHE’S MY FAVORITE!!” She just gets so excited and it’s so adorable that i usually end up letting her get a princess pencil or a coloring book or Tinkerbell bubbles or something.
But the other day while we were there, as we were leaving, she got really excited over that grabnabber toy thing, I stopped and let her pretend to play with it. I know- super gross! I doubt they have ever cleaned the handle and it’s probably covered in snot and disease. Like their bathrooms.
The days of me saying “Oh honey, it’s broken! Sorry!” are OVER. I used to e able to lie to her over something like this to get out of having to give her money to play, but NOT NO MORE. Apparently.
“Mom. Mom. Moooommmmm. I need some gold doublunes. Can you look in your purse?”
UM WHAT?
“No, honey. I don’t have any.”
“Mom. It’s in your wallet. Pleasssseeee? Please mommy? It’s I’m your purse. The monies.”
First of all, um ok. And second- does she watch too much Jake and the Neverland Pirates? Gold doublunes? Really?
Anyways, that little exchange was adorable so you know I gave the kid some money.
After she didn’t win she goes “mom it’s broken.”
Oh Lordy.
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I know this is going to sound crazy to those of you that work, have more than one kid, have tons of sports and classes to shuttle all your kids and their friends to…..but by the time Mia falls asleep at night, I AM EXHAUSTED.
But right now, I just want to say….if you are a parent of a baby over the age of, say, 9 months- listen up: STOP TALKING BABY TALK TO YOUR KID.
A friend does this and it’s all I can hear anytime she talks. Then I started noticing that other parents do it- for example, this dad at the splash pad yesterday said “let’s get out towel-wowels!” to his 7 year old. Or maybe he was a large 5 year old. I don’t know. But does it matter?
That really irritates the F out of me. I don’t use baby talk on Mia and sorry for tooting my own horn here, but she’s such a good talker. Full, clear sentences (and not the 3 word sentences). Correct pronouns. I mean, there’s a reason why some of the neighbors and her friends parents call her the “mini adult.”
I could write a whole blog about stuff parents do that make me irritated, but today it’s the whole baby talk thing.
Thoughts? And what bugs you guys about other parents? I could go on and on FOR DAYS.
Mia at the splash pad, eating a picnic of Cars Mac & Cheese, chicken adobo and ritz crackers. Actually, I ate those crackers. Yummmm
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This time last year, we started our divorce proceedings. It was odd because we were actually still living together in a huge house that was still not big enough for the two of us and our bruised egos and hurt feelings. I made him move downstairs and wouldnt let him use the bathroom in the master bedroom and made him remove all of his clothing from the closet. We never saw each other, but i was still ready to GTFO of there.
I remember this so vividly. I remember how mad i was every day. I remember waking up sad and then, 5 minutes later, I would feel a huge sense of relief- like an enormous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I dont remember crying, but then again I never cry. I check out of things emotionally and deal with them later. Its my nature.
When the papers were signed, I went out and bought a big expensive new bag, some new electronics and had my hair cut and colored at a ridiculously expensive hair salon. I regretted all of that the next day and returned the bag, but decided to keep the new DVD player. And my hair- my hair looked damn good- and Ill never do that again. Proof: I colored my hair the other night FROM A BOX.
Feel free to unfriend me right about now.
This is me, right around the time that things got stupid in my house.
I was browsing in my pictures folders on my laptop and saw a folder labeled April 2011. This photo was taken this day, last year. So much has happened since then. So many uncertainties about my future- about Mia’s future- were looming over me and all of the nervous energy was starting to take its toll on my mind, on my body, on my attitude….Yet, I stood there, smiling, at the aquarium at the Silverton hotel on Blue Diamond, waiting for the mermaids to appear with my perfect, sweet, unknowing 20 month old because thats what mothers do. Right? You allow yourself a few seconds of “whoa is me” before you jump right back in to be what you were put on this Earth to be- your child’s mother.
And, one year later, things are far better than I ever thought I deserved.
Thanks for sticking with me, friends.
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“When you feel good, you look good.”
This is a quintessentially French beauty secret. Ever since we all heard Megan Calvet (now Megan Draper) on Mad Men declare that her French mother never washes her face, but only dabs it with warm water at night, we’ve been intrigued by French beauty secrets. Or, at least I have. It turns out this was a common thing for French women (and Southern women, as it turns out) to do in the 1950’s, but these days those “dabs” need a bit of something else behind them.
In 1958, Pierre Darphin opened one of the first beauty institutes in Paris for custom-tailored, specific skin care solutions, and today, more than 50 years later, a legion of loyal users, spas and beauty institutes around the world swear by these formulas and their benefits.
When BlogHer approached me to do a review of Darphin’s sensitive skin care line, I will admit that despite my hesitations, due to my EXTREMELY unpredictable skin, I jumped at the chance based 99% on the fact that these were uber luxury products from Paris. I mean, I just spent $$$ at my dermatologist’s office for a cocktail of retin-a, zit cream and zit pills and I seriously did not want to jeopardize anything that was already happening to my skin by introducing something new. I really thought about returning the beautifully packaged, sweet smelling cleanser, serum and cream for another blogger to have a chance at the review, but THEN I spoke to an online friend that SWORE to me I would love it, so I gave it a try. After all, we tend to trust our girlfriends over anyone else, right? Personally, I have a hard time buying things like this unless someone I know and trust (or know from online) backs it up. I think lots of us gals are that way these days, no?
So, I shelved the prescription stuff and started using Darphin. I received the INTRAL Cleansing Milk, INTRAL Serum and INTRAL Soothing cream, all for sensitive skin prone to redness and irritation. 
From the start, the cleanser not only felt light and creamy, but it smelled like an expensive salon. Don’t ask me how I know how that smells! It doesn’t disrupt the skin’s natural barrier– which is not something I was used to feeling. Most of the cleaners I’ve been using have been harsh, meant to scrub my face to the core. I have super “uncomfortable” and tight-feeling skin after washing my face, but the Darphin INTRAL Cleansing Milk made me feel like I was “dabbing” it with a moisturizer. It cleaned my face, and made me feel “dewy.” It’s SO soft.
Next, I apply the serum (both day and night) and honestly, I have never used a serum before. I dabbed 3 drops on my face and neck, and my skin sort of did a photoshop effect on itself- suddenly it was even toned instead of being red and blotchy. I’m told its also good for people with rosacea.
After the Serum, I apply the Soothing Cream with Calming complex- Chamomile, Hawthorn & Peony extracts, D-Panthenol & Polysaccharide. Its thick, but not goopy and it smells like roses. No, seriously, it smells SO GOOD.
I’m really glad I participated in the Darphin review. As you know, I’m a bit obsessed with all things French, despite never having gone to France and not knowing a word of French beyond that Lady Marmalade song. I’m going one day. I know it. And I’m bringing my Darphin with me because this is truly more than skincare. It’s an Art. That’s their tagline, and I have totally found this to be true. I feel a little bit more glamorous after I’ve washed my face, and moms need any little bit of glamour than can get, right?
Here’s how you can enter for a chance to win a Darphin products valued at a minimum of $100! Just leave me a comment answering the question: What Darphin product would you want to try and why?
Plus, Darphin has a special offer (one of their best!) just for readers of this post: Get a free Age Defying Dermabrasion Deluxe Sample, Dark Circles and De-puffing Eye Serum Deluxe Sample and Spa Headband with any order at Darphin.com through 5/31/12. Use code BLOGGER at checkout.
Sweepstakes Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 4/23 – 5/24
Be sure to visit the Darphin brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!
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Finally. They’ve only been trying to get him to wear a princess dress for like EVER.
Mia was putting her arms around him going “it’s ok. You look pretty. You are a princess now.” And he was trying to GTFOuttaThere.
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On the way to meet a few girlfriends and their kids for coffee this morning. I’m always torn between wearing yoga clothes and wearing a cute outfit. I hate looking scruffy, so this is what I am going with.
Shirt & Capri pants – Loft
Shoes- Burberry
Bracelet- Michael’s craft section- $0.99!!
Necklace- diamond necklace from Tiffany – valentines gift from my man friend.
And that’s my new iPhone cover from Kate Spade. Such an improvement from the rat-a-tat-tat one that I used to have. Man friend was tired of looking at it and upgraded me.
Now if Mia would wake up I could get her dressed and get out of here on time…..
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This is Mia telling my friend T, who is pregnant with #2, how to get the baby out.
“you have a baby in your belly. You has to push him out, okay?? You have to go to the doctor and lay down and say UUUHHHHH and go like this (scrunches face…) and then he will take out your baby.”
And she’s looking at me like “Um how does your 2 year old know this?!”
So one day I was showing her a picture of me while I was pregnant and i told her that she was in my belly. She got confused and lifted up my shirt and said “no mommy I not in your belly. See? I’m right here mommy.” Then I said that she used to be in there, but that I went to the doctor and pushed her out (and made the terrible choice of comparing it to pushing out a poop because that’s what she understands at age 2….I know…judge me…) and the doctor grabbed her and gave her to me.
Then she told me that “yeah mommy I push you out my belly too. ”
And that was like a month or so ago, and we haven’t brought it up since then. Until she told my friend how to get her baby out.
Two year olds say the funniest things.
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Me.
Mia (The Boo Boo)
Gettin’ Healthy!
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- @OhApostrophe I know! It's trashy...but will I do without my daily dose of p.orn?
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